i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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