If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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