Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
