i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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