i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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