video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
