dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize