His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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