3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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