She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
