saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
