I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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