You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize