what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
