we have officially lost it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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