better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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