She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
