I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
