I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
