I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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