he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
