Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
