what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
