Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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