whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
honey bunches of taint.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
