He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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