Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
