Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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