I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
