Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We need a shit load of segways right now
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
