you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
