OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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