I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
