you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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