I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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