well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
my liver is dry heaving
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize