Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he shaved USA in his pubs
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I AM VODKA MAN
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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