Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wish my penis had a tongue
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
