so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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