id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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