fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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