yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
