I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
