can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
