Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
