I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
