franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
