He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
