did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Quick, to the slutcave!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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