Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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