I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
