im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's official drugs can't kill me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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