Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
