there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
