Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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