Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
