I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
