If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize