Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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