I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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