so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize