everyone is single if you try hard enough
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
