I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
