eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
