I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
