Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
