I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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