...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My feet surprised me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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