party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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