the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
