Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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