i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
