The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
