Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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